Author: Alisha E. Athanasiou, Advocate & Mindfulness Consultant, Athanasiou Law Professional Corporation
In the spirit of mental health week, this post will explore how awareness of self can help improve one’s mental health and overall well being.
We live in a time when so much of what we see, hear, and do is orchestrated. From the picture-perfect snapshots on Instagram to the curated stories many share. Lawyers also work in a profession that very much idolizes a gladiator mentality, where one person is expected to have a busy and rewarding career, beautiful things, an extensive professional network, and somehow manage to have personal interests and happy relationships. Realistically, many of us struggle to do it all, or feel like failures if we fall short on acquiring all the pretty things our senses are bombarded with daily. With this constant barrage of demands and expectations, it seems important to remember to step back and reflect. Ask yourself, who am I? What do I value? What makes me happy?
But why do such questions matter?
If you pause to think about who you are and what you are doing sooner than later, you can meaningfully assess your life and where you are. This may cause you to re-evaluate your lifestyle and make new choices that support a life you actually want, not just the life someone suggested you need. If you take time for such reflections and you realise who you are, and what you value makes you happy and aligns with your authentic self, then that’s good news, you can keep on doing your thing. However, if your reflection leads to introspection that the majority of how you spend you time is not conducive to your well being and what you truly want in life, you can start to make difference choices and create boundaries that will eventually guide you to the meaningful career and happy life you so very much deserve.
And, when you think about this rewarding happy life, it does not mean perfect. You might be better off if you let go of this idea of perfection, both professionally and personally. To this day, a quote from my family law professor stands out in my mind, “the standard isn’t perfection, its best efforts.” While our clients expect the world from us, and our A-type personalities encourage us to be the best, the reality is there is only so much we can accomplish each day, with each file, and given the amount of money a client is willing to spend. These are simply the facts of life and any profession; why fight them and create more tension and waste your limited energy?
The invitation is simply this, as you go through your day and your week, take a moment to pause and reflect. Did I do something today that I enjoyed? Did I help someone? Did I meaningfully connect with my partner and family this week? Have I laughed today? Do I feel good physically, mentally, and emotionally? Do I feel supported? Am I where I thought I would be at this age? Are my expectations reasonable? Did I take time to rest and recharge? What changes can I make?
The point of these questions is not to make you feel bad if your answer to them is not what you had hoped. It is to create an understanding of where you are presently and give you an opportunity to make a different choice. One rooted in compassion for yourself and your needs, one that gives you permission to prioritize your well being. And while this may sound idealistic and completely out of reach, the reality is, you matter and your well being is directly relevant to your ability to be a good lawyer, partner, parent, and citizen. When you take care of yourself, you put yourself in a better position to excel professionally and personally. It can be as brief as: each day I have my coffee or tea in silence. Or I take a 15-minute walk after lunch. Or I spend time being fully present and connecting with my partner, family, and friends. Simplify. Less is more. I am willing to bet if you do just a few of these things wherever and whenever you can, you will feel better. Give it a try, what do you have to lose?
Some Resources for Further Reading
- Beattie, B., Dagher C., & Telfer, T. eds, The Right Not to Remain Silent. The Truth about Mental Health in the Legal Profession (Toronto, ON: LexisNexis Canada Inc., 2024).
- Nathalie Cadieux, Martine Gingues, Jean Cadieux et al, Research Report (Final Version): Towards a Healthy and Sustainable Practice of Law in Canada, Phase 1-2020-2022 <https://flsc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/EN_Report_Cadieux-et-al_Universite-de-Sherbrooke_FINAL.pdf>.
- Goleman, Daniel, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (New York, NY: Bantam Books, 1995).
- Martin, Nathalie et al, Lawyering from the Inside Out: Learning Professional Development Through Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2018).
- Shapiro, Livia, The Somatic Therapy Work Book (Berkeley, CA: Ulysses Press 2020).
- Ury, William, Getting to Yes with Yourself: How to Get What you Truly Want (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2015).
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